his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
