I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
