plz talk dirty to me
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
