Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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