I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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