burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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