She's JV to your varsity
I will die if light touches me.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
