I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
