i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
