Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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