Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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