I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
