Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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