On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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