You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
