terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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