u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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