Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
