sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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