Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
