i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
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It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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