How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
