you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
