where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
