By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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