we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
