Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
