he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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