I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
