But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
