So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
