And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
