So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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