I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
