remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
