if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
40s are totally the cure
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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