i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
