Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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