to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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