i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
