Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
People in love make me want to vomit
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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