There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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