the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Send help, water and tortillas.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
