Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
