It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
