Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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