i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
