Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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