Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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