If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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