Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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