Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
